i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
