Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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