My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Well I just put wine in my tea
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
