just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
