I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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