he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
