my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
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