i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
