I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
