dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
