did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
