I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
