I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
