I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
