weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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