You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You're like the curious george of whores
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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