the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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