She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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