You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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