He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
