ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Randomize
