I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize