It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
