i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
