bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
