I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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