Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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