The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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