I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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