is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I think my moral compass just broke
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
