Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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