did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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