turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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