Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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