she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize