id be glad to
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
