Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize