You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
