piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
