Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
