Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
