Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
