then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize