it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
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