consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
