Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
