I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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