Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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