I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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