I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
