watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
