She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
