he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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