she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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