I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
