also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
