haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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